This year is the year that I decided to follow me, to create my own life, not just react on things that happen. I left my daily job and started to work as a freelance graphic designer and artist. It’s been a hell of the year, rough, but in a good way. I figured there is everything I want, need, wish, right at my doorstep, but do I have the courage to take it?
That is my greatest discovery so far. It is not about how much do I work, how many hours I develop my skills, how many awards I get, sure it’s necessary to take action to get results, but without breaking my own walls and limitations, misbeliefs, things just wont go there. I am the only barrier on my way to happiness. I also found that struggle in my art, I have many years of art education, skills, I developed my way of painting, but still, the feeling wasn’t totally right. My art was more a school product than my own expression for many years and I was searching for that missing piece all along.
A while ago I discovered intuitive painting. I started to explore this term and got myself a book “Brave intuitive painting”. That was the first time that I heard about Flora Bowley. I went along that book and really digged in to this new approach in painting. Everything made so much sense at that moment. In June I started Floras class Bloom True, that was a complete package of introspection, creativity and love. There is now way back now. 🙂 It is hard to put in words, what I learned, but I’ll try to sum the most important.
I figured that the same as in life I act on canvas. If you can imagine a canvas as your regular day, what is your experience, what gives you joy, what is hard for you, what brings you fear, are you afraid to change something, use another color, do things differently. How do you react, when you don’t like, where things are going, do you really make what you love or you just adjust to others expectations. You can get all those answers in painting process as well as in life.
More than anything I became a better observant, I learned how to step away and look at things from distance, being aware of my thoughts and what brought me to where I am. Also I find so precious becoming aware of possibilities, there are countless options to do things. We mostly stick to ones that we know, were learned through our childhood, education, but that doesn’t mean there are no any other ways.
I love how I started to get to know me more, my life, what inspires me, what I like and what would I love to put in my art. Not bothering so much about other opinions, accepting that there is no way everyone will like my art, each person has its own taste. I totally love that I can finally relate my art and me. Getting to know myself more reflects also in my expression on canvas.
Besides all of that innerwork, I also learned many new art techniques, met other mindful creative people and expanded my music playlist and mustn’t forget how fancy my fridge looks now 😉
I could probably go on forever with all the positive aspects. Thank you Flora for this lifechanging experience and thank you all “bloomers”, it’s nice to be a part of this beautiful community.