Can you take yourself on a date with money? Literally preparing a cozy place at your home, spreading different values of money in front of you and observe, how it makes you feel?
Recently I read about this idea invented by Kyle Cease that can help you to improve your relationship with money. It’s about imagining going on a date with money and explore how would you treat it. Would you want to share it, keep it, change the amount of it, would you be scared of losing it or keep it in a box to feel safe? The energy we have around money is the one that attracts or bounces the $$$ away from us.
So I did it, not just in my imagination, but in physical reality. Spread money on the floor in front of me and observed. Seeing those big and small bills in front of you is a great trigger to evoke emotions in your body and discover hidden beliefs you have around money. I invite you to try it yourself and discover what are your personal beliefs around those pieces of paper that manage your life. What are your reactions?
Fear of losing money
How the amount of money makes you feel? Big amounts of money can make you feel safe. But is that really safety or everything is just one big fear of lack. True safety lies in self-trust and self-value. When you know that even if you lose everything in this second, you can create new. You see money as a consequence of your creativity, of being you, not something you need to seek and grab to your experience.
If you imagine losing all of your money you might feel panic, the body collapsing, you’re not gonna exist anymore. It’s so funny because that is not even true. It is just a perception that having no money is a bad thing, the end of the world. When you run out of milk, you don’t panic, you just know that you don’t have it and start to collect ideas on how to get milk if that is something you truly desire. You are probably not even afraid of not knowing what to do in a situation without money.
You are not unsafe because of the money, you are unsafe to be you! If you stay in the middle of nowhere without anything, you realize, there is nothing to identify with anymore, it’s just you, nothing else, and that’s what is scary
When you imagine being without everything, you usually also experience some level of freedom. Not being attached to things is freedom. Without anything, you can create everything and probably even better stuff that are not a result of your past beliefs but of who you are today. It’s the same feeling as getting a new, totally empty apartment and then you can finally play! What do I want to have here? It’s more joyful to create than own, owning is stagnant, boring, not-alive, creating is evolving, expanding, learning, movement, aliveness.
Resistance, anger, hate towards money
If you had an experience that your parents fought about money, divorced because of the money, you might hate it because you connect money with argues and a dysfunctional family. If parents were away working, taking most of their time to provide funds, you might hate the money because it took the parents away from you. You can blame the money for feeling less worthy around other people who had better material things than you.
As a child, you couldn’t see that money wasn’t the issue. People were. They used money as a weapon towards each other, they prioritized money to family time, or behaved badly towards you, not because you were poor, their behaviour was bad. It was never about the money, it was about the people who used it in a certain way.
Feeling shame around money
If your parents gave you pocket money and bought you things with the energy of duty, obligation, then you probably felt guilty of existing, like a burden, someone who worsened their life, someone who created their lack. Maybe you even heard some strong words from their mouth. In this case, you might’ve felt ashamed. Can you see now, it was the energy of people who gave you the money that made you feel ashamed, not the money itself.
Money makes me a bad person
It’s possible your family, relatives had a bad opinion about wealthy people. Subconsciously you don’t want to have money, because they would equally detest you, talk trash about you, envy you. From a child’s perspective, if you were brought up in such an environment, you would lose their love, so you don’t really want to have money. Once again, is it about the money itself or someone’s opinion about it that shapes your own beliefs as well?
Making peace with money
It is not enough to become aware of our beliefs around money, it’s important to create a new story around money, integrate your new truth. I wanted to share something that shifted my perspective:
On this date, money confessed to me that it’s not happy when people use it as a weapon against each other, it’s not happy when people manipulate each other with money, it’s actually very very sad. In those cases, it has no intention to stay or put in some effort to become a bigger amount, to expand. Money doesn’t want to be spent on meaningless stuff, addictions, for harming people or nature. Money hates when people grab it, fight for it, trap it, use it as a dust collector.
Money wants to build, create.
Money is happy when you use it for things that brighten your soul, that help you express yourself, no money is wasted if you use it to expand you, money is thrilled to help you with that, that is the point of money! Money is excited to see where it can lead you with its help. Money is happy when you two together improve someone’s life or the world itself. Money is your ally, your team player, if you have the right energy behind your actions, it’s gonna stick with you no matter what. It’s friendship, it’s collaboration. Money wants to be free, money wants to circle around, so more and more people can use it for things that excite them. Money is tired of being used in the wrong way, so it’s decided to only be available for honest relationships with higher intentions.
I guess this was a good date, we should do it again! 🙂
Seeing life from the money’s perspective really helped me to realize, we are on the same page. Money is gonna support me only if I support myself.